A Cautionary Tale with Bill Gates

So I was noodling around looking for something on my laptop and suddenly there was Leslie Stahl on “Sixty Minutes” reporting an amazing breakthrough in memory therapy. Something about research Bill Gates and his foundation had done with a Japanese memory doctor who because of it earned the Nobel prize. So I stopped and watched.

Bill Gates close up talked about his father’s dementia, how hard it was for him to watch his father’s decline, how he was determined to find a cure for this sad fate. He spoke of knowing the Japanese doctor who had discovered rare berries somewhere remote in Asia which held the miraculous key to sharp memory.

Mr. Gates—whose biography I’ve read, loved the story when he was a boy, in the early morning he’d climb out his bedroom window and run down the block to the school where there was a new device, something called a computer, and he’d climb in the school window and play on the computer till he had to leave—told us his team had worked with the Japanese doctor doggedly until they got the breakthrough. And now they’d made pills that, after only a couple of weeks, lifted and dissolved brain fog…memories you thought you’d lost forever returned crystal clear.

Holy Toledo!

Well, I was the perfect audience…lately I’ve been losing names…here and there, one or two, but of course it’s terribly upsetting. My father died crushed with dementia and naturally the possibility…

Mr. Gates said that because he so believed in these pills, he was personally subsidizing a good percentage of their cost. One needed six months of them to completely have a sharp memory. But you could start with just six jars, six weeks’ worth, and have an exciting benefit. He said the pills were presently in short supply and if you wanted them, best act fast…

As it happens, I’d just received a bit of a windfall—residual from one of Gene’s television shows—and I thought, “What the hell, worth a try.”

So I ordered six jars. Then got out my American Express Cash Preferred card and filled out the usual delivery name and address information on the screen…filled in the usual details on the card.

Then I hit the “Order” button.

To my absolute amazement and astonishment, suddenly there was yellow flashing light covering the word “Order” — the light flashed over and over so I saw FRAUD! FRAUD! FRAUD!

You’re kidding me.

I laughed. Wished I could hug the people at American Express.

Closed the laptop.

Thought about it. Yes, Leslie Stahl sounded like Leslie Stahl but I ‘d wondered that she seemed a bit skinnier than last I’d seen her. As for the other luminaries’ testimonials, I didn’t pay much attention.

Bill Gates? Could not have seemed more Gatesian…I’ve seen him truly live and have his persona in my memory.

Which I’m now working at retaining through the usual old-fashioned methods.

Point is, children, everything—everyone!–on that 30-minute presentation was Artificial Intelligence. Mind-boggling.

Well, a deep bow to some savvy executive at a longtime credit card company who spared me a nasty nuisance—and possibly the loss of a goodly chunk of money.

So, dear reader, this is my cautionary tale.

Be vigilant. Rascals are everywhere hiding in plain sight.

Big hugs.